I think it was pretty embarrassing to have broken down at the bus stop just now. Thanks a lot a lot abang shahiddin for consoling me and listening to all my rants :) Although at the end when I apologised for bothering him, he went, "It's okay, you have been bothering me for 18 years. Another half an hour wouldn't make a difference." hahaha, true la. But too bad, since he's my brother, I will probably continue to bother him 50 years down the road :P

I do not know what made me so affected today. I think I am exhausted. I haven't had enough rest ever since camp khalifah ended on sunday. Sometimes I really feel like giving everything up but I keep telling myself to go on. Especially for the kids.. Alhamdulillah, so far, I have been able to cope. Ya Allah, please give me the strength to carry on helping these people.

and to my dearest Safa, ONCE AGAIN, thank you so much for everything. I am so so fortunate to get a friend like you. I love you a lot!

Going to redang next monday night! Can't waitttt. Hopefully, I will pass my Final Theory Test tomorrow :)

Take care everyone!

snippets of my life...

Apex session. Where all the makciks are unleashed! Hahaha




Sister Sarah's Wedding <3

I went out of the house feeling pretty stressed since there were a lot a lot of things to be settled today. Camp khalifah, GPac motivational talk plus tuition worksheets. Had to control myself from getting angry over nothing. But....something good happened. I saw a pair of old man talking to each other on the bus and they seemed to have a really happy conversation. And you know what? It made me smile too :) Suddenly it seemed that the day wasn't going to be so bad after all.

This is random but I think it is inconsiderate to blast music inside any public transport. I mean it's not to everyone's liking and it's pretty disturbing. Especially if the music being blasted is the loud rock kind.

May I get His help in finishing whatever I have to do today.

Take care everyone! :)

To my juniors taking their exams and getting all stressed over them, all the best kay! :)

and thanks safa for understanding the plight of a younger sister. hahaha. it's just nice to know that someone else knows exactly how you are feeling. I slept early yesterday, like before 9 pm so I am really sorry I did not reply to any smses last night.

Last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAK SU! Sorry for making you angry today by wearing your clothes. Hope it was not a bad start to your day. Have an awesome birthday! :)

I realised I have been too arrogant with my knowledge. Just because I have learnt something about a topic, doesn't mean I know a lot about it. Knowledge is supposed to increase my intellectual humility but for me, right now, it is not. I have to start changing my mindset. I have to get rid of my own ego. There are so many things in this world which I do not know, masyaallah. Knowledge is not supposed to make me more judgemental.

I have to remember this when I start uni. Gain knowledge in the pursuit of intellectual humility, not intellectual arrogance. Plus I am feeling scared that I am slowly being desensitised to a lot of bad stuff.

Oh Allah, please keep me on the right path. Ameen.

this poem, sent to me through e-mail by my brother, touched me. I hope it serves as a reminder for all of us :) i made it a note in my fb but tag limit was reached so i thought of publishing it here.

Six humans trapped by happenstance
In black and bitter cold
Each possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first woman held hers back
For on the faces around the fire
She noticed one was black.

The next man looking across the way
Saw one not of his religion
And couldn't bring himself to give
The fire his stick of a bludgeon.

The third one sat in tattered clothes
He gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from his sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group
Did naught except for gain,
Giving only to those who gave
Was how he played the game.

The logs held tight in death's stilled hands
Was proof of human sin,
They didn't die from the cold without,
They died from the cold within.

~by James Patrick Kinney~

spent quality time with my younger sister today. don't know why but she was uber crazy today. like haven't seen me for a long time like that! haha

played scrabble and boggle with her after having some talk. then we solat jemaah. it was a nice surprise la when she ask whether she can jemaah with me cause whenever i ajak her last time, she always refuses :) then we went facebook and look at our friends' profile and pictures... hahaha.

it was nice staying at home today. exercising and talking randomly with my parents. yes, the simple pleasures in life :)

alhamdulillah.

alhamdulillah, i have a few role models in my life right now whom i can follow and depend on to guide me to the right path always.
thank you mum, dad, abg shahiddin and kak farhanah bibi :)

so many things i wanna learn. hopefully i'll gain lots and lots of knowledge and of course the barakah from it when i enter uni in august. that's my main aim. not so much the socialising part.

my outlook in life has taken a 180 degrees turn this year. somehow, thinking and reflecting about death and the afterlife has completely changed my priorities. I'd say it's a good change and i thank Allah for bringing me closer to him :) I've still a long way to go though. may he grant me greater iman towards Him. Amin.

have a good day everyone!

i am watching anuar zain's keabadian cinta video on youtube now. oh man, it made me like him all over againnnnn. HAHAHAHA okay haslina, stop it.

APEX - giving me a whole new meaning in life, with both the mentors and the p6 madrasah students :)

i got into USP!!!! i was so overjoyed i jumped out of my chair. haha, i think aaron got a shock. sorry mate. heh

alhamdulillah. my prayers have been answered. now i have to work harder. insyaallah, i'll pull through all this :)
thank you kak farhanah, wani and azhar for the wonderful advice given. thank you dad for the idea for my essay. and thank you everyone else!

amin.

doctor says me and my elder sister caught a viral strain from malaysia :( my body's feeling very weak now but i'm trying to fight the sickness. can't even stand up for long before my vision starts to get pretty blurry.

had a bad driving lesson yesterday. mounted the kerb once, stalled engine thrice, did a slow move-off till the green light turned red, overshot the stop line a couple of times and turned into the wrong lane a few times also. haiz. was a road hazard sey yesterday.

malacca was fun! ate a lot! :))

3 days MC but i can't even finish what i'm supposed to do for tuition cause no mood and strength. hopefully i'll get well soon! insyaallah...

So, the past weekend was really hectic but pretty much enjoyable :) Helped out with masjid rahimabi's hi-tea on Saturday at the uber beautiful ballroom at orchid country club. It’s my first time actually being in a ballroom so I was really awed by the decorations and chandeliers. wahhhhh!




Sunday was tuition plus zapin festival with my two lovely sisters. The dances were very interesting! Me and my sisters were camwhoring most of the time especially during dinner. And we were joking about anything under the sun. I laughed a lot sey. And then we tried doing our own version of zapin. Totally CMI!


Work’s been pretty much the same these past few days. It’s tiring to be rushing from work, tuition and other stuff. I nearly became emotional from all the exhaustion yesterday. But I have to continue pushing myself. Insyaallah, I can. I have to do more for my tutees. I really want my tutees to excel in their exams, to the best of their ability. I hope that they will work hard for their own sake plus their parents’. Allah, please give them the motivation! Amin.

Has/Lina/Nina
Bioengineering, NUS

حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

We have, as human beings, a storytelling problem. We're a bit too quick to come up with explanations for things we don't really have an explanation for.

- Malcom Galdwell, Blink -


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