Lab session in the morning today was just....I was seriously lost. I was slow also cos the facilitator asked me to quickly move on to the next section even though i hadnt finished the the previous section. I couldn't really ask around cos everyone was rushing to finish their experiments also.
I don't know. I think I'm back to the point where I'm questioning my existence in engineering all over again. My modules are really tough for me and they are only level 1 modules :/ But good la cos it crushes my ego and makes me feel stupid. Maybe I've been consciously or subconsciously arrogant all this while..
Fortunately, the lab session in the afternoon was so much easier. All thanks to my genius partner, an Indonesian scholar whom I've never met before actually. He's really smart and nice. There was once, me being kental, put one magnet in the wrong polarity and that caused all our readings to be wrong. Alhamdulillah, this guy, took out his calculator, did some calculations with the supposed formulas and concluded that we didnt have to redo the readings but instead just multiply all of them by 1.5. HOW COOL IS THAT. Plus he could answer the questions the facilitators asked each pair so I was extremely relieved. He also gave me the analysis to the experimental errors so it was so much easier for me to complete my lab report. Plus he taught me how to design a better on graph on excel which would make life easier for me in the future. Alhamdulillah. I seriously should make friends with the scholars ah. Hahaha.. Too bad he's not in my lab group. He just came today for a make-up session :(
I really hope I can continue to motivate myself to carry on with whatever I am studying now, insyaAllah. I'm not expecting much for the coming midterms. Can't deal with anymore disappointments also.
On a side note, I got a purple tasbih today! Haha, I got a blue one actually but I exchanged with my elder sister. Alhamdulillah..
I brought my apex mentees to the rooftop this morning cause they needed a fresh breather. Alhamdulillah, it was very windy :) My mentees were still rather restless though, had to keep reminding them to focus..They laughed at my riddle! hahaha, make me laugh also :)
me and rasy wore the same thing today! all the way down to our crocs.. haha :)
The clouds looked really beautiful from the rooftop.
“When He gives, He shows you His Kindness; when He deprives, He shows you His power. And in all that, He is making Himself known to you and coming to you with His gentleness.”
Ibn ‘Ata’Allah al-Iskandari
Thanks Rasy for the very sweet letter! Love you cik bunga ros! :)
Seandainya telah engkau catatkan Dia akan menjadi teman dalam menapaki hidup Satukan hatinya dengan hatiku…. Titipkanlah kebahagiaan diantara kami Agar kemesraan itu abadi
dan…ya ALLAH ya Tuhanku yang maha mengasihi Seiringkanlah kami melayani hidup ini Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi
Tetapi ya ALLAH…
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan… … dia bukan milikku… Bawalah ia jauh dari pandanganku… luputkanlah ia dari ingatanku
Ambillah kebahagiaan ketika dia ada di sisiku Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan
Serta ya ALLAH ya Tuhanku yang maha mengerti Berikan aku kekuatan Melontarkan bayangan jauh ke dada langit Hilang bersama senja nan merah Agar ku bisa berbahagia walaupun tanpa bersama Dengannya….
Dan ya ALLAH yang tercinta… Gantikanlah yang telah hilang Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah Walaupun tidak sama dengannya
ya ALLAH ya… Tuhanku… Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirmu Sesungguhnya apa yang telang Engkau takdirkan Adalah yang terbaik buatku… Kerana Engkau maha mengetahui Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini…
ya… ALLAH …. Cukupkanlah Engkau saja yang menjadi pemeliharaku Didunia dan di akhirat Dengarkanlah rintihan dari hamba-Mu yang daif ini…. Jangan biarkan aku sendirian Di dunia dan di akhirat Menjuruskan aku kearah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran Maka kurniakan aku seorang pasangan yang beriman Supaya aku dan dia dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh…. Amin… ya… Rabbal… Alamin…
I listen to Shaykh Hamza Yusuf's lecture on the way to school. His series of lectures on the life of our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w is really really awesome. He highlights significant events and emphasises the context in which they take place so that we can truly understand the gravity of it.
Yesterday, he talked about an event that truly touched my heart even though I've heard it many times before..
When Rasulullah s.a.w faced persecution in Makkah, he made hijrah to the land of Taif to teach Islam to the people there. Again he faced persecution by its people, who asked their children and servants to throw stones and sticks at him to chase him out. His teeth got cut. He was also mocked by them and they rejected his religion blatantly.
Feeling sad, Rasulullah made an extraordinary dua. This was his complaint to Allah: O Allah, if You are doing this to me not out of Your wrath, (because when Allah puts a human being through a test, it is either because He is angry with his actions or it is to elevate his status) I am okay with it. But if You are doing this because You are angry with me, then I have to do something. MasyaAllah, and this is Rasulullah s.a.w's complaint!
Shaykh Hamza Yusuf emphasised that this happened during the year when Rasulullah lost Siti Khadijah and his uncle, Abu Talib. Khadijah was his spiritual protector, the person who was there for him whenever he needed comfort and encouragement. Abu Talib, on the other hand, was his political protector against the Quraisy. Rasulullah lost two of his loved ones and yet had to undergo such torment. You can just imagine the grief he was exepriencing. Still, he was in COMPLETE SUBMISSION TO ALLAH.
I teared when I heard this part. I could tell the Shaykh was also crying when he was talking about this. Subhanallah. MasyaAllah.
May we gain strength from the stories of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w who is truly the best example for all of us, insyaAllah. Ameen :)
Mr Thevenin and Mr Norton, you guys are extremely smart! I can't understand your theorems.
Mr Thevenin graduated from École Polytechnique in Paris in 1876, which according to Rasyiqah was more prominent than Oxford or Cambridge at that point of time. Mr Norton, on the other hand, was a graduate of MIT and Columbia University. Mr Thevenin died earlier than Mr Norton.
Haha okay ni namanya takde kerja eh. Finding out the history of these engineers rather than trying to understand the theorems they came up with. Any kind soul who can understand, please explain to me. Thanks! I give you 1 kinder bueno :)
Frankly speaking, the words you wrote inside your card were so powerful, it felt as though Allah was talking to me through your card. Alhamdulillah.. I am feeling much better now. Suddenly I felt strong again and happy. Walking back to YIH, past the trees, I feel I am ready now. I am ready to be back to my usual self. With that, thank you very much for the card :) Only Allah knows the impact it had on me. I especially like this quote you included in the card: The heart needs to feel hurt, it needs to break over matters of the duniya before it can detach itself from the duniya. MasyaAllah... It made me feel like Allah was calling me to Him. Thanks also for the song. The lyrics are really meaningful and it really touched my heart :)
P.S. The purple flowers I was referring to in my previous post were pictures actually ;)
Alhamdulillah. Allah has answered my prayers by allowing me to get through this obstacle. There are still a few things I'll have to think about but other than that, my life is back on track.
A special thank you to my younger sister. She really surprised me by understanding exactly how I felt when I needed someone to do so. Alhamdulillah. She cried with me when I was down. May Allah bless you sister. I love you. I still have to give you the same number of questions for tuition though. Hahaha :)
Of course, to my best friend Safarina also for being there to listen to my woes and cheer me up. She made me laugh and smile when I had all these problems at the back of my mind. You make me happy sis. May Allah bless you and may Allah grant you happiness in whatever decision you make k. Love you! :)
P.S. Takde kerja betul budak ni tuliskan orang note on tissue paper. Hahahaha, but it really made me laugh. So sweet! :D
To my other family members and friends (you know who you are), hehe, thank you so much too. I truly feel blessed to have your words of consolation and support. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. May Allah reward you guys also, insyaAllah. Love you all! :)
I've removed the link to my malay blog because I don't think it is of any use for anyone to read it now. It will just consist of my own personal ranting, especially through this phase.
When something you really treasure is suddenly taken away from you, it's hard to move on and simply forget about it. It hurts real bad. Especially under a circumstance you would never expect.
Then again, as a Muslim, I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for the best. Allah knows best. As Ustadz Usama Cannon said in his talk today, "Difficulty is the greatest reminder of Allah." Hence, I should take this as His mercy to me.
I'll keep myself busy with schoolwork, GPac!, APEX and arabic class. Focus focus focus. I'll keep looking at pictures of flowers to make myself happy. More importantly, I'll keep myself away from another emotional rollercoaster ride until the time is truly right. Most importantly, I'll increase my prayers and dua to Allah to strengthen my heart to help me overcome any obstacles He has in store for me. Ameen.
Well InsyaAllah we take this separation as a step for us to be better Muslims but most importantly be better children for our parents.
Kak Nurul's mum donated some money to GPac!. Couldn't be anymore thankful for that. We really needed some money now to tide us over for a while since our appeals for sponsorship have yet to receive any replies. Syukur alhamdulillah! :D So far, the response from the students have been heartwarmingly enthusiastic and I pray that it will last till the end of the year, insyaAllah :)
I was considering leaving Apex this year due to my heavy workload but thanks to a conversation I had with my coursemate, I decided not to. We didn't talk about Apex but the advice he gave me reminded me of a hadith which coincidentally, was one of my profile pics on fb..
:)
My coursemates have been extremely nice to me. Their kindness makes me motivated to be nice to other people too :)
Recess week is here! Alhamdulillah. I'm 128376548765647 times behind my schoolwork so this will be a really good time for me to play catching up. Haha. InsyaAllah! I hope I can focus and not be distracted..
Lifeless, brainless stones, inanimate objects, animals greeted the Messenger of Allah while we don’t send blessings and prayers to him when his name is mentioned, truly we have hearts harder than stones. May Allah aid us so that we say the selawats with love and esteem. Amin
I left school feeling pretty tired and upset but I reached home feeling all happy again. Alhamdulillah..
And it is all because of this elderly man I saw in toa payoh central.
I was taking my time there, wanting to clear my mind before I went home. As I left this shop, there was this elderly man (probably 60/70 plus) sitting outside the shop. His clothes were pretty shabby and he had his belongings beside him. I don't know why but I just observed him for a while. He looked so happy eating his Macdonald's ice cream (it was the Chococone I remember). His eyes were closed and he was savouring every bit of the ice cream. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was feeling sad for no reason. I mean, I am much better off than this man, yet I am feeling sad over my tutorials which seemed so trivial at that moment. It was a powerful feeling because my mood totally changed. It was very heartwarming, masyaAllah. I seriously wished I could buy him another ice-cream. I said a little prayer for the man and left, smiling all the way to the bus stop. It's really amazing when I think about it. Once again, I felt Allah close to me, telling me that life is more than just the trials given to me. Alhamdulillah.
Today, when I went home, I had a long conversation with yai as he was telling me all his past life experiences. It felt really nice to see him laughing so happily. :) I could have spent that one hour doing my work but nothing beats that feeling of knowing that you made someone feel real happy. Alhamdulillah...
May Allah continue to bless the lives of these two old man who have touched my heart today :)
USA building a spaceport. $260,000 for a ticket to outer space (120km above Earth). Seriously, where are their priorities? Spending so much money like as though they have a lot of it. I mean, come on, they are the country with the highest debt in this planet and they are still having this sort of projects which seriously, have no meaning or value to me. People are so engrossed about feeding their own self-interests that they are blinded to what really matters in this world. MasyaAllah. Private jets, million-dollar weddings, high-end cars, huge commercial buildings/skyscrapers. For what? Self-interest.
Okay, I think I sound a bit angsty here. Let's be optimistic. We can't change whatever's happening in the world anyway. All we can do is change ourselves for the better and create our own small world of happiness while trying to include as many people in it. InsyaAllah, Allah the Almighty :)
A must watch! I watched all three parts and masyaAllah, so many things we can learn from Imam Ghazali's teachings. I loved the part where he emphasised the fact that we have to get through the Hell of Dunya to get to God. Plus the fact that after we have struggled with everything in this world, at the end of the day, it is Allah that has made it all happen. So he's telling us that we should constantly crush our own ego and give thanks. Alhamdulillah :)
My 2-yr-old nephew in London is so cute!! *melts* haha
Alhamdulillah, my elder sister fetched me from school today.. If not, I could have reached home close to midnight I think. MasyaAllah, the moon was really beautiful, right sis? Thank you very much! So nice of you :) And don't worry, you look pretty with your new specs. Anything better than your old one, hahaha..
Thank you friends and FSIL for all the comforting words these past few days :) Can't express how much I appreciate them! And safa, thanks for the purple flower brooch. Hahaha bestie, you know me too well alr la.
The talk on Islamic Economics by brother Halim was really awesome I think. Learnt a lot but have yet to learn a whole lot more. Alhamdulillah.
“God is with the broken-hearted. When your heart breaks, it’s a good thing – the breaking of the heart is what opens it up to the light of Allah. The dunya is designed to break your heart, to crush it.” ~ Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
I agree with this quote a hundred percent because when I am broken-hearted, I find ways to console myself. And, as a Muslim, what better way to console myself than to let everything out to Allah and seek his forgiveness? Cos somehow I will feel the power Allah has upon me and I realise then that whatever happens, Allah knows best. Subhanallah.
& just when I thought things were going horribly wrong, something awesome happens and I know, once again, that Allah is helping me :) Alhamdulillah..
Nosebleeds can occur spontaneously when the nasal membranes dry out and crack. This is common in dry climates, or during the winter months when the air is dry and warm from household heaters. People are more susceptible to a bloody nose if they are taking medications which prevent normal blood clotting warfarin (Coumadin), aspirin, or any anti-inflammatory medication].
The incidence of nosebleeds is higher during the colder winter months when upper respiratory infections are more frequent, and the temperature and humidity fluctuate more dramatically. In addition, changes from a bitter cold outside environment to a warm, dry, heated home results in drying and changes in the nose which will make it more susceptible to bleeding. Nosebleeds also occur in hot dry climates with low humidity, or when there is a change in the seasons.
How do you prevent the nose from bleeding again?
1.Go home and rest with head elevated at 30 to 45 degrees.
2.Do not blow your nose or put anything into it. If you have to sneeze, open your mouth so that the air will escape out the mouth and not through the nose.
3.Do not strain during bowel movements. Use a stool softener (for example, Colace).
4.Do not strain or bend down to lift anything heavy.
5.Try to keep your head higher than the level of your heart.
6.Do not smoke.
7.Stay on a soft, cool diet. No hot liquids for at least 24 hours.
8.Do not take any medications that will thin the blood (aspirin, ibuprofen, clopidogrel bisulfate [Plavix] or warfarin [Coumadin]). If these have been prescribed by your physician, you need to contact them regarding stopping these medications.
11.If bleeding persists, call the doctor and/or visit to the emergency room.
Taken from: http://www.medicinenet.com/nosebleed/article.htm
From Anas, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah s.a.w say:
"Allah the Almighty has said: 'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon.'"
[Recorded by Al-Tirmidhi, who said that it is a good and sound hadith]
“Khadija was a great teacher; she has such a maqaam in our religion. She taught the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam who he was; she was the one who elevated him in his esteem. When he had self doubt she said no. You can see that when the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam married Aisha he had no fear of strong women. Theres a lot of men who fear strong women, who want them to be wallflowers. Whereas with the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam, that’s not the type of people he encouraged. His wives were women who talked back, and the reason he wasn’t afraid was because khadija was his first wife. She was a women of the world. She knew the world, and she was completely self confident. That’s a sunnah of our Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam, to elevate women”. ~ Shaykh Hamza Yusuf.
May Allah ta’ala elevate Shaykh Hamza’s rank in both worlds, protect him and allow us to benefit and take heed from his teachings. Amin ya Rabb!
Today I feel happy. Im wearing the shoes mum gave me, the backpack abg shahiddin gave me, the watch abg hafiz gave me and the ring kak sulaiha gave me. :)
Reached school at 6.50 am today. Lovely morning weather, alhamdulillah. Now waiting for my lecture which starts at 8. Long day ahead!
We have, as human beings, a storytelling problem. We're a bit too quick to come up with explanations for things we don't really have an explanation for.
I brought my apex mentees to the rooftop this morning cause they needed a fresh breather. Alhamdulillah, it was very windy :) My mentees were still rather restless though, had to keep reminding them to focus..They laughed at my riddle! hahaha, make me laugh also :)
me and rasy wore the same thing today! all the way down to our crocs.. haha :)
The clouds looked really beautiful from the rooftop. 
Of course, to my best friend Safarina also for being there to listen to my woes and cheer me up. She made me laugh and smile when I had all these problems at the back of my mind. You make me happy sis. May Allah bless you and may Allah grant you happiness in whatever decision you make k. Love you! :)
:)
My 2-yr-old nephew in London is so cute!! *melts* haha